Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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