It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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