Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
