she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
