she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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