margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
