similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize