once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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