fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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