Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
