he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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