those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
