Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
