I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
