I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
