i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
