As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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