I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
