he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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