you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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