I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
