I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
