I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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