I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
