we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tell her she can't have a vagina
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
