i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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