Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
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You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
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I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
COCAINE IS GR8