I seem to have left my pride at pride
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh