Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.