it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.