Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize