I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
