he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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