hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
