Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
