i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
