I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
