Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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