Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize