I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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