But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
