Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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