quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
