u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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