Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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