I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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