There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
