did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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