I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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