my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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