I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
