Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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