I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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