We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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