Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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