remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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