my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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