i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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