If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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