Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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