I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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