I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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