when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize