Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
