I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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