whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
