Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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