I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
